Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
