No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
