There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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