Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
