it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
