She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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