hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
