I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
