that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
