just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
