hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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