If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
