I hate your face
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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