Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
