also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
