What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
