JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
