Where is the hickey?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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