I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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