I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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