I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
All the doctor said was why
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
