i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
