I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
