if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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