You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
