Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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