Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
