your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
