1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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