I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
