We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
