go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
