I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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