this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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