Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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