Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Please don't give away my fajitas
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
