the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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