cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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