Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
