I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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