i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
this beer tastes like vomit already
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
