She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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