Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
