No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
