I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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