I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
