Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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