Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
