her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
