Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
